Current mood:

distressed

IT LIVES !!!!!

For anyone with a long memory, hello!  I am not dead.  I am simply coming out of a long, painful coma known as 2007.  It has been the most challenging year of my life so far and I'm sincerely hoping it gets much, much easier, like NOW.

I am currently filing for a grant to pay my bills as I have run out of money, work and girlfriend.  I haven't played a "regular" gig since january and I'm just about to gear up and bring the monkey out of the shadows.  ONe of my old places Shark's Cove, have called and asked if I wanna book and since I need some sunshine, it looks like I may relearn how to play slinky and toy piano.

This year, I embarked on two adventures; a girlfriend (and therefore an intense, turbulent relationship), and a career as a composer for film, tv and commercials.

Kelly (the girl) and I are currently not seeing each other since I'm a financial wreck and she's ascared of my lack of stability.  Can't blame her - I'm pretty sick of dreading rent day while the rest of you get to celebrate it's arrival (or it's fancypants sister, the mortgage).  I love her more than anything ever and I don't like the fact that she's on a date right now.  In fact, it really sucks.  She is a wedding singer and has just taken over her parents' talent agency - sometimes I sing on her gigs, standards mostly, like "Unforgettable" and "The Way You Look Tonight", stuff like that.  I'm also helping her drum up business for the talent agency.  We've also been writing material (she's a great writer and an amazing singer) to break into the Spiritual Church Circuit - which is huge and growing.  Already getting a few calls to perform. 
the composer career has been a blowout as well - I have been contacting 900 companies a month for the last 7 months to no avail.  I've had two film soundtracks offered and then yanked.  I've had several "almosts" in the tv music department and many compliments of how good I am without work coming from it.  

So I've had a few day jobs that didn't pan out - one was as an executive assistant at a post production house for a very angry boos and the other was as a wine broker, where I was required to drink wine from 9 AM till about 5 PM - sure, sounds good at first, but...  real gutbuster after a few weeks.  Didn't sell enough, so out I go.

In a panic, asked several different people yesterday to help me pay rent before the three day notice took affect and made the mistake of asking Kelly - BIG mistake.  The day before we were waking up late together and cuddling (yes, it's that kind of breakup) and now she doesn't want to talk to me and is on a date.  Has a problem with rescuing people and I guess I'm a loser.  Didn't actually say the last part but it's pretty much implied.  Of course, now with the sky falling because I asked her to help me pay rent, I dont' know what's going to happen to all the projects we've started.  If she starts seeing other guys regularly, I won't be able to work with her.  Everyone who knows her, including a member of her own family, says I shouldn't bother , that I can do better than her.  Hard to hear from a family member!

So today I finished paperwork for two "instant" grants that will hopefully cover things on tuesday.  If not, a friend has offered to cover me while I get one/two/three real jobs.  Another friend has been over here and on the phone with me every other hour to help me fill out the mountain of paperwork.  Kelly?  Outside of a reference letter she wrote for me, doesn't want to be near me.  Yah - when the chips are down...

Anyways, I have to bear the responsibility of my loser ways.  I'm hoping that working one/two/three jobs will not only take care of the money issues,but will bring her back.  I guess only time will tell.

Gonna start keeping the journal up to date now and reading everyone's entries.  I hope everyone is okay!  Time to see what you've all been up to...